


my roommate is a serial killer

by vonseal



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mystery, Romance, Roommates, might be other pairings i cannot say for certain just yet, not really much mystery it's just dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-09-27 02:25:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9946037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vonseal/pseuds/vonseal
Summary: Bin wants to know more about his new roommate, Minhyuk, but that's difficult when Minhyuk is a serial killer.





	1. statistically speaking

**Author's Note:**

> half of this is lame and half of it is sweet but all of it is goober-filled nonsense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it was drugs. Maybe Minhyuk did drugs. That was bad, too, but it was better than killing people, so Bin hoped it was just drugs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> minhyuk doesnt do drugs, fyi.

It had been three nights since Bin had gotten his new roommate, and he had to admit that the arrangement was rather nice. Minhyuk was a polite person, a year younger than Bin himself was, but still somehow more quiet and reserved. When he did speak, it was just quick conversation starters, usually way more awkward than it needed to be, but as Bin told all of his friends, he was certain Minhyuk would loosen up with time.

Myungjun had once said that it would be difficult to find a stranger that wasn't a serial killer. “I just think you should look at more options, Bin,” the older boy had stated, sipping at his chocolate milk and staring up at Bin with wide, innocent eyes. “I mean, maybe friends _do_ make the best roommate.”

“You're not going to be my roommate,” was the response Myungjun received. And, sure, while all the talk about serial killer roommates and criminals watching over him as he slept _were_ rather terrifying, Bin was almost one hundred percent certain that Minhyuk was _not_ a criminal, that Minhyuk was just a kind, quiet guy who went to school and work.

“It's always the quiet ones, though,” Sanha had pointed out mysteriously, and Jinwoo nearly hit him upside the head for that.

But Bin wasn't paranoid. He wasn't going to let either Sanha or Myungjun get into his head and make him start doubting his roommate's good intentions. This setup he had now was nice and free of chaos and didn't involve his best friends hanging by his side day in and day out (because, _god_ , he loved his friends, but he once went to a pet store and asked for the largest muzzle they had, and he really _would_ have gone through and bought the damn muzzle if not for the price).

Even if Minhyuk _did_ come back late at night sometimes, breathing harshly and not quite in the mood to talk, Bin didn't find him suspicious at all. Myungjun and Sanha could fret all they wanted; Bin was content as it was.

He was content until he came out of the movie theater with his friend Dongmin one evening, having just seen a film that involved actual serial killers.

“Are you alright?” Dongmin had asked, acting calm and collected and not like he had just screamed loudly eleven times during the movie. “You look a little panicked about something. Usually you're good with these movies.”

Bin nodded his head to quell Dongmin's worries, but in reality, he _was_ panicked. The serial killer in the film had led a double life; he was quiet at home with his roommate, polite and sweet but quiet. He would come home late at night and wouldn't mention where he had been or what he had been doing. He would laugh and smile and he was _charming_ , but then he would go out in the evenings and stab anyone who had ever wronged him before.

Bin had promised himself he wouldn't let the paranoia of his other friends get to him, but he suddenly couldn't help but compare the movie serial killer to Minhyuk. It all connected perfectly, unfortunately, and the more he thought of it, the more he was convincing himself that he was living with a serial killer for a roommate.

He didn't tell this to anyone. It was just the nerves and jitters, he managed to convince himself, of seeing such a creepy movie. Minhyuk was perfectly fine and normal and there was absolutely nothing to indicate he lived a life as a serial killer.

When he arrived home, Minhyuk was cooking something in the kitchen. He turned and glanced over, offering Bin a soft smile. “How was the movie?”

Bin cleared his throat and closed the door behind him. “Fine. What's that you're making?”

“It's a secret, but I figured I'd prepare some dinner for you. I mean, I was hungry, and I _know_ you get hungry easily. You and your friend didn't already go out to eat, did you?”

Bin shook his head. “Dongmin had to get home early to study for a quiz he has tomorrow,” he responded. He didn't move from his spot in front of the door. “So what is this, again?”

“Told you, it's a secret,” Minhyuk repeated.

Bin wondered if Minhyuk was also a cannibal and was cooking human meat to get rid of the evidence that he was a serial killer.

And it was stupid, even in Bin's head, but there _was_ still the possibility of it being true. He didn't have Dongmin's mathematical knowledge, but since _mystery meat_ could be _anything_ , it could also be human flesh, statistically speaking.

So while it was a very low chance of actually being human flesh, the chance was still there.

Bin's stomach growled and Minhyuk smirked. “It'll be ready shortly.”

“I'm not hungry.”

“I just heard your tummy rumble, though.”

_Tummy. Rumble._ God, for a possible serial killer, Minhyuk really was laying on the cute factor without even realizing it. Bin cursed the fact that he found a possible serial killer so adorable.

“I'm just in the mood for something else, I think.”

Minhyuk held up the spatula he was using. “You don't even know what I'm making.”

“Not in the mood for fle- _meat_ , I'm not in the mood for meat.” Bin cleared his throat and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

Minhyuk stared for a few seconds before turning back to the meal he was preparing. “Alright. I'll leave you some leftovers in case you decide you want it again.”

“What type of meat is it, anyway?” Bin asked. He didn't like the disappointed expression he had seen come across Minhyuk's face. Sure, maybe Minhyuk _was_ a serial killer, but that was just a tiny chance of being accurate. More than likely, Bin was just losing his mind and Minhyuk was a sweet kid who happened to stay out late at night doing lord knows what.

Maybe it was drugs. Maybe Minhyuk did drugs. That was bad, too, but it was better than killing people, so Bin hoped it was just drugs.

“It's beef,” Minhyuk responded, and he held up the package the beef had come in. “I thought you liked beef.”

Bin _loved_ beef, but Bin was always in the mood for any sort of meat (as long as it wasn't human flesh, he decided). “Well...” He smiled brightly, trying to dispel any awkward tension he had brought about. “Maybe I can eat some of it! I guess I'm hungrier for meat than I thought!”

Minhyuk's face brightened, and Bin decided that Minhyuk _most likely_ was not a serial killer. He was just jumpy from the movie, probably, and the words of Myungjun and Sanha stayed with him for longer than they should have.

“Go wash up, then,” Minhyuk ordered. “And when you come back, can you set the table for us?”

“Yup! I can do that!”

Minhyuk wasn't a serial killer, Bin decided with one hundred percent certainty as they sat down for the meal. Minhyuk was a little shy still, a little quiet, but Bin liked it, and the more they talked through the dinner, Bin decided that he really liked Minhyuk's company.

“So you don't have to tell me if you don't want to,” Bin spoke as they were cleaning up the dishes, “but I was just curious, what do you do so late at night? You usually don't come home for a while.” Minhyuk looked up at him and blinked, so Bin gave a short laugh. “Just curious! I thought it was a little weird at first, but you're probably doing something completely normal-”

“I'd rather not talk about it,” Minhyuk responded, and he offered Bin a nervous smile. “It's a secret.”

It was a secret, just like the meal had been a secret, and Bin found that he was second-guessing Minhyuk's intentions once again.

But it was probably nothing, Bin had to reassure himself when he climbed into bed that night. It was most likely something Minhyuk didn't want to talk about because it was embarrassing or personal, or anything _except_ serial-killer business.

Minhyuk didn't come home until late the next night. He was sweaty and wiping at his face with a towel, and when he saw Bin watching television, he bowed his head quickly and retreated to the bathroom. Bin heard the shower turn on, and he looked back at the news station on his television.

It was probably nothing at all, Bin told himself, but he found it hard to believe when the newscasters suddenly announced that they had just received word of a murdered victim laying in the street just twenty minutes away from Bin's apartment.

Bin was frozen in spot as he watched. They had no information on the victim or the murderer, but it was a developing story and they promised they would figure out the facts soon enough.

When Minhyuk's shower was finished and the boy was back in his room, Bin picked up his cell phone in a panic and sent a group text to his friends:

_Guys, this sounds stupid but I think myungjun and sanha are right: minhyuk most certainly is a serial killer._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone requested i write moonrock and make it goober-filled, so here you go: goober-filled nonsense of the moonrock. idk how to write moonrock, i've never done this before.
> 
> if you wish to send me dollars so i can buy myself some beef and also so i can write better moonrock, please send it to [@vonseal](http://www.vonseal.tumblr.com).


	2. rough activities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He _knew_ Minhyuk was a serial killer, and yet all his mind could think at the moment was, _but he's a really cute serial killer._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nothing happens in this chapter, legit you can skip it bc it's boring, but the following chapters will be better???

While Myungjun and Sanha had seemed to agree with the idea of Minhyuk being a serial killer, they had different methods of confronting him.

“No, you should _not_ try and get closer to him!” Sanha exclaimed, cutting off Myungjun as he spoke. “The closer you get to a serial killer, the more likely you are to die!”

“Explain.” Bin took a sip of coffee.

He had gathered them together at a small restaurant in the late hours of the evening when they all had spare time. Jinwoo had refused initially, but the moment Dongmin expressed interest in attending the impromptu meeting, Jinwoo had changed his mind and tagged along. He appeared, however, as if he wished he had never agreed to this outing, and kept shooting all of his friends looks of disbelief.

Bin didn't care at the moment. Bin was much more preoccupied with figuring out how to properly gather proof of Minhyuk's serial killer lifestyle and take it up with the police. Sanha and Myungjun were helping in that regard, even if they _were_ arguing every chance they got.

“Okay, so,” Sanha cleared his throat, a serious expression befalling his youthful face. “Serial killers usually kill people they _know_. Right?”

“No,” Myungjun muttered. “I've researched this more than-”

“And so if he knows you, he's more likely to kill you. It's science.” Sanha snapped, nodded his head, and sat back in his seat.

Jinwoo groaned loudly and rested his forehead on the table.

Bin wished he was taking notes on all of the ideas, but since he couldn't do that, he stored Sanha's words in his mind, then looked at Myungjun. “Are you going to counter Sanha's statement?”

“Obviously, because it's _dumb_.” Myungjun pointed at Bin. “If he likes you, why would he kill you? Has he killed his mom yet?”

“I don't think so. I can ask, though.”

“You're going to ask if he killed his mom?” Jinwoo glanced up from where his cheek was squished on the sticky diner table. “Seriously, Bin?”

“Not in those _exact_ words! I'll just ask if his mom is still alive.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “And if his mom _is_ still alive, I'm going to go with Myungjun's advice and try to befriend him in order to gather more information.”

Sanha looked disappointed with Bin's decision, but he didn't try to dispute the intelligence that Myungjun had brought forth.

And, speaking of intelligence, Bin realized he had yet to hear from the most intelligent person of the group. “Dongmin?” he questioned, and Dongmin blinked in response. “What is your opinion on this?”

Jinwoo actually seemed interested to hear what Dongmin would have to say. He picked his head up from the table and stared. Dongmin, caught under the eyes of everyone in the group, stammered out, “We-Well, I haven't really assessed the situation just yet, but if he _is_ a serial killer – and Jinwoo seems adamant he isn't -”

“Because he really _isn't_ , you guys are just nuts.”

“-if he _is_ , Hyung, only if he _is_ , then...” Dongmin gestured to Myungjun. “I think getting closer to him would be the better choice. I'm assuming he hasn't killed any of his family members, and so if you befriend him, he won't kill you.”

Jinwoo shook his head. “I can't believe I'm hearing this, Dongmin – you're actually going along with this serial killer idea?”

“Just in case,” Dongmin responded seriously, and Jinwoo was ready to leave then.

Bin was satisfied enough with the meeting. He had gotten sound advice from all of his friends, save for Jinwoo and his constant complaining, and felt a little more at ease with his situation. Sure, Minhyuk might be a serial killer, but he wouldn't kill someone he liked, according to both Myungjun and Dongmin.

Now Bin just had to get Minhyuk to really like him.

But that wouldn't be too difficult. Bin had been told before that he was such a likable person, and Minhyuk already seemed agreeable enough with him. If he could keep inching his way closer and closer into Minhyuk's life, he would become close enough to not be the next victim _and_ to actually uncover verifiable evidence that he could then take to the police station.

He had to admit, Myungjun's plan was brilliant, and he hardly ever admitted such a thing.

He set the plan into action the next evening. Minhyuk came home late again, a little out of breath and a little surprised to see Bin standing there with ramen in his hands. “Hungry?” Bin asked.

Minhyuk's eyes widened momentarily before pointing at the ramen. “Is that for me?”

“Yeah. I figured you might be a little tired from your... _activities_.” Activities that involved killing people, probably.

“Activities?” Minhyuk was reaching out for the ramen, but his hands froze at Bin's mysterious voice. “What sort of activities are you talking about?”

Bin cleared his throat. He had to be more subtle than that. He had to try and prove that he knew absolutely nothing about Minhyuk's secret life. “Studying, or, um...basketball?” He laughed. “Not really sure what it is you do in your spare time, since you don't let me know.”

The younger boy seemed satisfied enough with that answer, and he finally did gently grab the bowl away from Bin. “Sorry if I can't let you know,” he mumbled out as an apology. “I just don't want you to judge me for it.”

Bin already judged Minhyuk. Very harshly, too.

“Thanks for this, though. I really did need it. Today's activities were, um, a little rough.” Minhyuk had the decency to look _sheepish_ , at least, as he slurped up some of the ramen once he had received chopsticks as well.

Bin wondered how many people Minhyuk had stabbed tonight. Bin also wondered how Minhyuk was actually able to find time to stab people. He wished his schedule was as open as Minhyuk's schedule was (though he didn't want to _stab_ people, he just wanted to not study and read manga).

“ _Rough._ Right.” Bin cleared his throat and, once again, tried to ignore the curious look that Minhyuk was giving him.

“Since we're roommates and all,” Bin continued, “I also think we should get to know each other better! I think roommates should become best friends, don't you?”

“I...wouldn't know.” If Bin looked close enough, he believed there was a slight blush that was creeping onto Minhyuk's cheeks – but he couldn't tell for absolute certain. “I've never had a roommate before. You're the first one.”

Which meant that Bin couldn't actually research any past roommates of Minhyuk's and figure out how dead they were. He was going to dive into this mess with no prior knowledge of how Minhyuk treated his friends, in that case.

“Well, then, we can be best friends to start out with, right?” Bin held out a hand for Minhyuk to shake. Minhyuk had to maneuver his food an eating utensils onto one hand to awkwardly grasp Bin's hand for a second or two. Once their hands were released, Bin was _certain_ that Minhyuk was blushing.

How strange.

“Yes, that'd be nice.” Minhyuk offered a small, nervous smile, and then Bin felt something hot rise to his cheeks, something hot and not entirely unpleasant warming his ears and nose and entire face.

He had to excuse himself to the bathroom then, which Minhyuk nodded his head to, and once he was away from his roommate, Bin looked at his reflection in the mirror.

He was blushing, as well.

It was Minhyuk's smile. Minhyuk's _smile_ had made him blush. That was just absolutely ridiculous, though. He _knew_ Minhyuk was a serial killer, and yet all his mind could think at the moment was, _but he's a really cute serial killer_.

He slapped his cheeks a few times in order to dispel such a pesky thought, and when the words left his mind, all that remained as Minhyuk's smile, which just made him blush again.

In a panic, Bin scooped his phone out from his back pocket. _Mayday!!_ he texted to the group. _I've become charmed by a serial killer!!!_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i warned you it was boring but you didnt listen, so you had to suffer through it. congrats.
> 
> if you're enjoying yourself so far and want it to rain dollar bills tomorrow where i am, please send dollar-rain-chants to [@vonseal](http://www.vonseal.tumblr.com).


	3. i like date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bin wished Minhyuk _was_ a serial killer so that he could be killed and never have to hear himself say something stupid ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i like this fic because i just type out whatever comes to mind, and if it's stupid and doesn't make sense, it still works with the plot.

Bin had called another late-night meeting, this time for a clear and _actual_ emergency. Myungjun and Sanha had readily agreed to come, whereas Dongmin hesitated slightly before finally complying with Bin's request.

And Jinwoo was dragged along once again, continuously sending Dongmin exasperated glances as Bin explained the situation.

Before any of his friends could offer advice after the quick explanation of his new found feelings, Bin blurted out, “And that's why I'm asking him on a date.”

Sanha gasped. “Seriously? You're asking a _serial killer_ on a date?” He had lowered his voice with the words _serial killer_ , looking around with wide eyes to ensure that none of the non-existent customers in the diner heard him speak.

“What could really go wrong?” Bin asked. Apparently that was the wrong question to voice, because Myungjun started shaking his head.

“Seriously? What _could_ go wrong dating a serial killer, Dongmin, explain it to Bin.”

Singled out, Dongmin blinked in shock. Jinwoo tugged at his arm. “You don't have to play along with them.”

“No, Myungjun has a point,” Dongmin responded, and Jinwoo let his head collapse to the table with a loud groan. “I mean, Bin _also_ has a point. On one hand, I highly doubt Minhyuk will attempt a killing when he's in a public location, and if our previous theory is correct, he won't kill Bin if he likes him. So if he _does_ agree to go on the date, chances are that he likes you and, therefore, won't kill you.”

Bin pointed at Dongmin and gave Myungjun and Sanha a scoff. “See? That's sound advice!”

“On the _other_ hand,” Dongmin continued, and it was Myungjun's turn to scoff at Bin, “he could be a psychopath, for all we know, and he could lure you into an alleyway and stab you.”

It was quiet at the table, save for Jinwoo's whining, and Bin broke the silence after thinking over Dongmin's words. “So I either score myself a hot date, or I die?”

“Seems that way,” Dongmin replied.

“That's good enough for me.” Bin finished off his soda and stood from his seat. “I'll give it a shot. Minhyuk's had _plenty_ of chances to murder me in our apartment, since no one's actually watching over there, and I don't think he'll publicly murder me. Doesn't seem like his style.”

He was about to leave, about to go burst into his apartment and ask Minhyuk on a date, but Myungjun stopped him by throwing a balled-up napkin at his head.

“If you don't text us when you and Minhyuk finish your date, guess who's calling the police?”

“Jinwoo, probably.”

Jinwoo's head shot up. “ _Please_ don't drag me into this.”

“ _Not_ Jinwoo,” Myungjun responded, “because he's lame and won't believe you. Don't worry, though, Bin, because I have your back on this.” He puffed his cheeks out and fluttered his eyelashes.

Bin sighed. “I'd rather rely on Jinwoo for this.”

He didn't think he'd have to rely on any of his friends, however. When he arrived home, Minhyuk was already there, and there was _something_ different.

It took Bin all of four seconds to blurt out, “You wear face masks?”

Minhyuk glanced up from his spot on the couch, where he was laying down and flipping through his phone. “Oh. Yeah. Do you?”

For a serial killer, he really seemed unashamed to be caught wearing a sheet mask with a Hello Kitty character on it. Bin was starting to have his doubts.

“No. They're slimy.”

“So you've tried one before?”

“No! I never said that!”

“How do you know they're slimy, then?”

Bin decided to stop before he embarrassed himself any farther. He cleared his throat, and Minhyuk gave him a large grin. “Want to go get dinner?”

The grin fell. “What?”

“Dinner. Let's go out.”

“ _Out_?” Minhyuk blinked, an action that almost went unnoticed due to the position of his face mask. But Bin was studying him at this point, and he wasn't even sure what he was studying for; serial killer expressions (whatever those were), or cute, adorable, _Minhyuk_ expressions. Either way, it didn't matter, because his expressions were too difficult to make out at this point. That face mask looked so dumb, too. Bin loved it.

“Yeah. Out.”

“It's-” Minhyuk checked his phone. “Nearly one in the morning. Don't you have class tomorrow?”

Bin shrugged his shoulders.

“Didn't you go out to eat with your friends already, anyway?”

“Nope.” It was the quickest lie Bin ever told, and Minhyuk's eyes seemed to narrow suspiciously. Bin clarified, “I had... _other_ stuff to do. Very important stuff.”

Minhyuk stared for a few seconds before glancing back at his phone again. Bin wasn't sure why, but it seemed as if Minhyuk was thinking through things very carefully.

“So...can we go out together?” Bin repeated.

And with that last question, Minhyuk was up. “Let me get ready. I'll be ten minutes,” he stated hurriedly before rushing out of the room.

When he was ready and they did leave the house, Minhyuk was grinning the entire time. Bin wasn't sure _why_ , but he truly hoped it meant Minhyuk had some sort of actual desire to go out on a date with him. He hoped so for his own sake, for his own life and well-being, obviously, but there was a larger portion of his brain that wanted desperately to discard the entire _serial killer_ idea, and instead to focus on just _Minhyuk_.

Whether or not Minhyuk was a serial killer, Bin found himself falling harder and harder, especially when Minhyuk stopped their walk and suddenly tugged at Bin's arm.

“Can we go grab ramen from here?”

“We always make ramen at home.”

“Yeah, but...!” Minhyuk glanced back at Bin, eyes wide and hopeful, and he tugged once more. “This ramen is supposed to be _really_ good.”

“Isn't _my_ ramen really good?”

“You burnt it the first day I moved in.”

Bin couldn't deny that accusation. He blushed instead, thankful that the evening sky was hiding the coloring of his face.

“Why is this shop even still open at midnight?”

“Don't know, and don't care. They have ramen and I want ramen.” One more tug, and Bin finally agreed. He thought Minhyuk was about to physically cheer, but he seemed to have more sense than both Myungjun and Sanha put together and realized cheering in a public place over ramen was a silly idea.

Once more, Bin was glad he chose Minhyuk as his roommate instead of any of his other friends, possible serial killer status aside.

They grabbed takeout, feeling a little uncomfortable with the idea of being the only two in the restaurant so late at night (especially when the owner called them _such a cute couple_ at least twice, and Minhyuk had to clear his throat and hide his face each time).

“I didn't even _need_ to take off my face mask for that date,” Minhyuk said as he sat on the couch, legs under him as he quickly dug into his ramen. “I could've worn it for the full time period.”

“A date?” Bin also sat, a little closer to Minhyuk than he normally would have sat, and glanced over at his roommate.

“Date...?” Minhyuk glanced up from his ramen, then stopped chewing as he comprehended what had just spewed forth from his mouth. “Shit, I meant...an _outing_?”

“Date's good,” Bin replied. “Date works. I like date.”

“You like date?”

“The word _date_. For this event. For the food we just got out. It's a date?”

Bin wished Minhyuk was a serial killer so that he could be killed and never have to hear himself say something stupid ever again.

“So we're on a date?”

Bin shrugged his shoulders, causing Minhyuk to whine. “You can't do this to me! You can't say that we just went on a date and then act all cryptic like this! Bin, are we or are we _not_ on a date?”

“If eating dinner in our living room is a date, then we've been on a few dates before.”

Minhyuk looked slightly disappointed. “So, _not_ a date?”

“No, I want this one to be a date.” Bin wished he had Dongmin's clear, concise way of speaking. This wouldn't be difficult if he was Dongmin.

(Though, come to think of it, Dongmin usually tripped up his words when he spoke with Jinwoo, but that was probably because Jinwoo was a party-pooper.)

And just as quickly as Minhyuk had looked disappointed, a new expression came over his face; relief. He even _sighed_ out in relief, and then continued chewing up his food again.

Bin noticed Minhyuk trying to hide a smile, and he couldn't help but smile himself.

They talked for a good while, their leftovers placed out on the table to lose heat and become stale with each minute that passed. Minhyuk listened more than he conversed, but his expression was gentle and calm and his eyes lit up whenever he _did_ decide to mention something.

And maybe they did fall asleep sometime, Minhyuk's cheek squished up against Bin's shoulder, Bin's arm wrapped somewhere around Minhyuk's waist. And maybe Bin wouldn't have minded staying in that position, but the police seemed to mind as they knocked loudly on the door and announced, “This is the police, open up!”

Bin was going to beat up Myungjun.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my first cliffhanger lol, it's not even a cliffhanger it's just a stupid way to end it.
> 
> send me dollar bills so i can go on my own dinner date with a cutie patootie [@vonseal](http://www.vonseal.tumblr.com).


	4. recent calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If a serial killer could make time for dating, then Bin decided that he could also make time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and maybe mj gets beat up in this chapter, will we know for certain unless we read it?

Bin had to get up, but Minhyuk was latching on tightly.

“Minhyuk-” Bin whispered, trying to remove the younger boy's arms from around his waist. “Minhyuk, someone's at the door and I need to answer it.”

Minhyuk smacked his lips together. “Just leave it,” he murmured.

“Yeah, can't do that. It's, um, someone important.”

The police kept knocking, and Minhyuk finally let go, curling up in on himself and blinking his eyes open to look at the door. “Who?”

“No one.”

“You just said-”

Bin took advantage of his freedom and shot up from the couch. He hurried to the door and opened it slightly, peeking out and putting on his best smile. “What seems to be the problem, officers?”

The policemen looked a bit confused at Bin's well-being. “We received a call that the owner of this apartment might have been in trouble. Are you Moon Bin?”

Bin nodded his head, and when the officers asked for identification, he pulled his wallet out and showed them his ID. They seemed satisfied enough with that, looking it over and trying to peer inside, where Minhyuk lay on the couch watching the entire proceeding.

And gosh, it was really embarrassing to know that Minhyuk was witnessing all of this.

“Sorry, I think it was one of my friends,” Bin whispered. “He's paranoid. I just went on a date, and he asked me to contact him afterwards, but I guess I forgot to do that.” He gave a small chuckle, but the officers didn't really seem interested in the story. They left, muttering something about, “a complete waste of time,” and Bin watched them walk back to their police cruiser before closing the door and giving a long sigh.

“Why were the police here?” was the first question out of Minhyuk's mouth when Bin turned back to face him.

Bin gave another chuckle. “No idea! I think they were, um, probably investigating suspicious activity. They just asked me if I had seen anything weird.”

“Like what?”

Bin should have expected all of the questions. Minhyuk seemed wide awake know, eyes curious as they followed Bin when he walked back over to the couch. “Oh, I don't know, they didn't explain themselves!” He just wanted to get back to cuddling and sleeping in such an uncomfortable position. He wanted to wake up with the sun to Minhyuk's cheek squished right up against his shoulder again. However, the magic of that moment had been broken, because now Minhyuk was wiping dried drool off of his chin and gathering himself up from his seat.

“We-Well, I guess we should probably go to bed,” he announced, and gestured at the leftovers. “I can clean this up, if you'd like.”

Bin blinked and rubbed at his messy hair. “We can just...stay here, if you'd-”

“My neck is going to be sore in the morning.” Minhyuk was blushing. “Here, you go to sleep. I've got the leftover ramen.”

And before Bin could say anything, Minhyuk was already cleaning up their dishes, a bit frazzled and a bit flustered.

He would worry about Minhyuk's random emotional switch later. For now, he needed to catch up on his own sleep so he could become energized enough to go fight Kim Myungjun.

Except Myungjun was adamant it wasn't him.

“I mean, come _on_ , Binnie, does that _really_ sound like something I would do? Call the police? Why would you put all of the blame on _me_?”

“You're the one who _told_ me you'd call the police!”

It was another late-night meeting, and Bin's confrontation was being watched by all of his friends with interest; even Jinwoo was a bit more perky after seeing Myungjun's stupid antics become known to the rest of the group.

“Yeah, as a _joke_!” Myungjun scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Like I would actually do it.”

“You texted me six times, and the final one says, _I'll call the police if you don't answer, you little shit._ ”

Jinwoo looked positively gleeful, and he shrugged his shoulders. “He's got you there, Hyung. Just give it up and accept responsibility for ruining Binnie's date and possibly getting him in trouble and _also_ probably ruining his new relationship with Minhyuk.”

“I think we're getting too upset over this.” Dongmin suddenly spoke up, placing a hand on Jinwoo's back. “I mean, maybe, um, maybe Myungjun was worried.”

Myungjun sighed. “Thanks for sticking up for me, Dongmin, but it honestly _wasn't_ me.”

“Do you have proof?”

“You want proof? Fine.” Myungjun took out his phone and pulled up his recent calls list. He showed it to Bin who regarded it carefully. “See? I called my mom. I called Sanha. I called you once and you never picked up. And then I haven't called anyone until today when I called work. _See_?”

Somehow, Myungjun was actually telling the truth. Bin stared at his friend with wide eyes. “If it wasn't you, then who was it?” he asked quietly, looking around the table.

Myungjun not-so-subtly pointed out Sanha, who took out his phone to show his recent calls, as well. “Stop it, Hyung! It wasn't me, either.”

And Bin already knew it wasn't Jinwoo, on account he didn't even believe the story about Minhyuk being a serial killer (and, come to think of it, Bin himself was having doubts), and Dongmin was much too logical to do such a thing, so Bin just groaned.

“Who was it?”

Myungjun scoffed. “You're so quick to blame _me_. I can't believe you. Seriously, I can't _believe_ you would do this to _me_ , your best friend in the whole-”

“Dongmin's my best friend because you don't shut up ever.” Bin ran a hand through his hair and then glanced over at Dongmin. “Any ideas?”

Dongmin froze, then glanced up to meet Bin's gaze. “Ideas on...?”

“Who would have called the police.”

“Oh.” Dongmin cleared his throat and averted his gaze. “It, um...maybe the police were called by a neighbor who is also suspicious of Minhyuk's whereabouts.”

It made sense, actually, and Bin nodded his head. “I think you're onto something, Dongmin. Especially if he's out _murdering_ people, then obviously someone else would probably start catching on.” He sat back in his seat. “I need to figure out who it is, so they can know that I'll work behind the scenes with them to catch Minhyuk in the act.”

“I thought you liked the guy.”

Bin looked over at Jinwoo and smiled. “Sure I do! Liking him doesn't take away from the fact he might be a serial killer, however. I just have to be on my toes at all times.”

He was on his toes when he returned home and Minhyuk's head popped out of the bathroom, a toothbrush sticking from his mouth. “Where were you?” he asked, his voice muffled from the oddly large amount of toothpaste he appeared to be using.

Bin shuffled through the plethora of lies in his head that he had been rehearsing with Myungjun and Sanha. “Late night business with...someone,” he responded. Minhyuk didn't look convinced. Minhyuk looked very suspicious for some reason. “Were...were _you_ out?”

“For a bit, yeah.” Minhyuk retreated back into the bathroom. When he returned, he was toothbrush-free. “Hey, were we, um...going to go on another date soon?”

“You want to?”

“If you're not... _busy_. With, uh, your important business, then I would like to.”

“What about your business?”

“I can make time,” Minhyuk responded with a grin.

If a serial killer could make time for dating, then Bin decided that he could also make time. “Okay! I'll figure out something and let you know tomorrow morning. Is that cool?”

Minhyuk nodded his head. “That's cool. Um...good night, Bin. I should get to bed, and I think you should, as well. I think your business might, uh, be... _tiring_ you out.”

Bin laughed. Minhyuk was so thoughtful, for a serial killer. “Sure! You, too. I know you must be tired.”

He must be _very_ tired, because when Bin checked his phone once more before bed, he caught sight of a news article – more people murdered by the now-infamous serial killer, just a few blocks away.

Bin's heart felt like it was going to simultaneously explode and break with the knowledge that he was in love with the man who was somehow committing all of these crimes.

_Keep the police on speed dial, Myungjun_ , he texted his friend. _I need all the help I can get._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aha, there is an actual mystery in here guys, i planned this all along (and by all along, i mean i planned it yesterday)
> 
> i just bought a cool, new trash can for myself because i think i've been upgraded to Cool Trash™ so now im out of money, send dollar bills [@vonseal](http://www.vonseal.tumblr.com).


	5. kitchen knife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bin didn't know why he liked Minhyuk, honestly. Minhyuk was mean and also probably a murderer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the mystery continues! _who called police_

“There's been another murder,” was the first thing out of Minhyuk's mouth when he entered the kitchen the following morning.

Bin choked on his cereal. Minhyuk didn't seem at all deterred by Bin's coughing and sputtering and the milk that splattered out on their table.

“Is that why the police were here?” Minhyuk sat down across from Bin, unusually serious. “To ask if you knew anything?”

Bin wondered if Minhyuk was starting to catch on to the fact that Bin suspected him. He sure _looked_ curious, and he regarded Bin with slight caution.

This was bad. If Minhyuk found out, he could easily silence Bin without anyone noticing. At least his friends would know what had happened if Bin suddenly showed up dead on the news the next morning.

“I guess that was why they were here, yeah,” Bin responded, wiping his mouth free of cereal crumbs. “But I don't know a thing! Absolutely nothing! No serial killers in this apartment!” He laughed nervously. Minhyuk didn't seem too impressed, so Bin decided it was time to quickly change the subject. “So for our date, I think we can do it tomorrow evening, if you're available. We can go out to eat at this nice diner nearby.”

Originally, Bin had thought about a stroll through a park, holding hands under the moonlight and possibly kissing each other at the end of the trail, but that would mean secluding themselves from other people. On the off-chance that Minhyuk _was_ secretly a serial killer, Bin didn't think that being alone with him would be the best idea.

(Except, his brain reminded him, they were alone now, as they had been for weeks, and nothing had yet happened, so maybe Bin was just paranoid.)

Minhyuk was pouring himself a bowl of cereal. “Sounds nice,” he responded, grabbing the milk away from Bin's side of the table. “Are you paying or am I paying?”

“Usually the person who asked the person on the date pays.”

Minhyuk stirred at his cereal slightly. “So I think _you_ asked.”

Bin huffed. “I _clearly_ remember that you were the one who asked if we were going to go on another date.”

“I asked if we _would_ go on another date. I didn't ask you _out_ on another date.”

During his research on serial killers, Bin had learned that they were crafty. Sneaky. Easily able to sway others with arguments. Minhyuk fit those descriptions perfectly, and Bin really couldn't find a way to dispute Minhyuk's statement.

“And you came up with the location, so I guess you're the one paying?”

Bin was scowling now, and Minhyuk just shot him a smug grin.

“ _Fine_. I'll pay. You'd better appreciate the food I buy you, or else we're walking home on different sides of the street. And I won't even let you sleep on my shoulder this time.”

“Oh, gosh, what am I going to do? What a punishment you've arranged for me.” Minhyuk sounded bored as he stuffed cereal in his mouth. Bin didn't know why he liked Minhyuk, honestly. Minhyuk was mean and also probably a murderer.

But _god_ , if he wasn't the most adorable thing, sitting there all proud and haughty in Daffy Duck pajamas and chewing on marshmallow cereal.

And all that lay in Bin's mind for a while after that was the image of Minhyuk sitting across from him at their kitchen table. All that lay in his mind was the way Minhyuk's hair looked when he had just woken up from bed, the way his lips would curve up in a small smile when he challenged Bin, the way the pants leg of his pajamas would roll up to reveal more of his tan skin.

He almost forgot about the whole _serial killer_ nonsense until he went to grab the kitchen knife to cut up vegetables and realized it wasn't there.

_No matter_ , he thought happily, thoughts still in the clouds and wondering if it was too early to have fallen in love, _I must have left it in the dishwasher_.

But it wasn't there, either, and as Bin nearly tore apart the kitchen looking for that big, heavy knife, panic started to set in.

And Minhyuk was still on his mind.

Had Minhyuk taken it? It was a possibility. Bin pulled out his phone and went back to the news article from last night. The victims had died of a _knife_ attack. A big knife, too, a kitchen knife, probably, according to the police chief who had given a press conference earlier that morning.

And Bin was down a knife.

He had to force himself to take deep breaths, to practice the meditation breathing that Dongmin had taught him during their high school years together. Maybe he had just misplaced it. Maybe Minhyuk _did_ have it, but for a totally innocent purpose. Maybe Minhyuk needed to open a box, or something like that. That was probably it. Just a box.

That meant Minhyuk probably wouldn't be opposed to Bin asking about it, would he? Bin could make it clear that he _knew_ Minhyuk wasn't using the kitchen knife for nefarious reasons. He'd tell him flat out.

So he knocked on Minhyuk's bedroom door.

The boy opened it and raised his eyebrows at Bin's apprehensive expression. “Are you alright?” he asked.

“Oh, uh, yeah. Totally fine.” Bin cleared his throat and rubbed at the back of his neck. “Hey, this might be somewhat of a weird question, but there's this knife that I was looking for, and I think you might have it?”

“Is that a question?”

“No, but... _do_ you have it? That's my question. Or- no, look, my question is actually do you _know_ who has it?”

Minhyuk was tensing up. Bin could tell. “No.”

“Well it _has_ to be in the apartment somewhere.” Unless Minhyuk had thrown away evidence last night during his little murder incident. That would probably be the most logical explanation, and Bin narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “So you don't know where it went?”

“Check under the couch?” Minhyuk supplied unhelpfully.

“Why would it be there?”

“I don't know, but whenever I lost something, my mom would tell me to look under the couch. It was usually there ninety percent of the time.”

It was sound logic, considering the majority of Bin's lost items _would_ end up under the couch, so Minhyuk helped him look. When the knife was still missing, the two boys sat on the floor of the living room. Bin shot out suggestions of places it could be hiding.

He didn't mention that he _truly_ believed it was in a garbage bin somewhere, covered in the blood of Minhyuk's victims. That probably wasn't nice to say before their big date.

He didn't mention any of his suspicions at all to Minhyuk, but after exchanging a few texts in his group chat, he decided that tonight he would end his constant wondering once and for all. Myungjun, Sanha, and Dongmin _all_ advised him that perhaps his best solution was, at this point, to follow Minhyuk when he went out for the evening.

_Stay far enough behind_ , Dongmin had written. _If he turns to look behind him, you need to turn so all he can see is your back._

And Bin did that.

_Make sure you have your phone out, with the police on speed dial,_ Sanha had written, _just in case._

And Bin did that.

_Make owl noises if he suspects anything_ , Myungjun had written.

Bin didn't do that, on account he didn't know how to make owl noises.

_Take me out of this group chat_ , Jinwoo had written.

And Bin did that.

As he followed Minhyuk down dark alleyways and shady streets, he couldn't _believe_ how his suspicions were all lining up to be true. Wasn't this the area the first two people were murdered? Why was Minhyuk visiting the same location so late in the evening?

Bin wished he had found that kitchen knife in order to give himself some form of defense.

Minhyuk stopped at some sort of abandoned building. Maybe it was a warehouse, but it seemed just a little too small for that. Bin hid slightly behind a street sign, watching and waiting.

Minhyuk was talking to someone now, someone who had opened the door and had smiled upon Minhyuk's arrival. Bin was too far away to hear exactly what they were saying, but they _seemed_ friendly enough with each other. Maybe he was a second serial killer. Minhyuk probably couldn't kill that many people so quickly, could he? He probably needed help.

Serial killers seemed really friendly, though, if Minhyuk was anything to go by, so Bin assumed this new guy would be friendly, as well.

Minhyuk disappeared into the building, and Bin hurried forward. He gave himself a few seconds of meditation-breathing before opening the door and peering inside.

His eyes widened with the sight.

“Wait a minute...”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think half of you have already guessed what minhyuk's doing anyway lol.
> 
> send me a million dollar bills so i dont have to work ever again. wire my bank account, which is [@vonseal](http://www.vonseal.tumblr.com).


	6. second date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He never expected that he and his boyfriend would both spend their second date arguing about who was more likely to be a serial killer while walking down the street with a blood-covered knife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so we solve a few mysteries. very anti-climatic. _who called police_

Bin considered himself to be a fantastic judge of character. He had known Dongmin was going to be kind and polite and also a little bit of a worrywart. He had known Jinwoo was going to be smart and in control of various situations and also slightly in love with Dongmin. He had known Sanha was going to be a tall, influential brat. He had known Myungjun should have been ignored in the first place.

And he had known that Minhyuk was a killer.

A killer at dance moves.

He _killed_ it out on the dance floor.

Bin watched, hidden from view, as his roommate, friend, possible love interest, did spins and turns and jumps that Bin had only ever seen before on television. He had always envied dancers and their graceful abilities, but this was something else. Minhyuk's dancing was on a whole other level, and all Bin could do was stare.

His staring did leave him open for someone to notice him, obviously. Despite the fact he remained ducked out of view, he never took into consideration that an open door was bound to draw some sort of attention.

“Hey!” The man Minhyuk had been speaking to earlier pointed him out. Minhyuk stopped dancing in order to glance back with wide eyes. “What are you doing here?”

Bin had been spotted, by both the man and Minhyuk. Before any of them could do anything, he stumbled back, letting the door slam shut, and then began to contemplate his next move.

Running seemed like a viable option. He didn't know what he would be running from, as it appeared the mystery of Minhyuk's late-night whereabouts had been solved, but running always seemed to work for people in the movies.

Except it might create more misunderstandings.

Maybe he should stay put. He would sit on those warehouse steps until Minhyuk came out to confront him. He probably wouldn't even explain the entire situation, considering he highly doubted the man he was dating would like to hear, “Hey, I think you might be a serial killer.”

But that was only two options. If he took the time to think it all through, he was sure he could come up with more.

“Bin?” Minhyuk's voice cut through his thoughts. Bin spun around quickly to see Minhyuk standing on the steps right in front of the door.

“Minhyuk! Hi! What a weird coincidence!” Bin laughed.

Obviously it wasn't a coincidence at all, and Minhyuk knew it.

“Bin, did you follow me?”

“When you put it that way, it seems a little creepy.” Bin cleared his throat and gestured at the building. “What's this? A dance studio? How cool is _that_! I didn't know you danced, Minhyuk!”

“You weren't supposed to know, either.” Minhyuk was scowling and Bin realized he should probably try to clear up this mistake quickly.

But the only way to truly clear it up was to actually explain himself, and Bin really couldn't do that at the moment. Instead, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “I just got curious as to what you did so late at night, is all.”

Minhyuk wasn't convinced of that, and he didn't lose that scowl.

“Can I come watch you dance?” Bin asked.

“No.”

“Oh, come on! I came all this way here-”

“We can go home, then. Let me grab my bag.”

If Minhyuk's goal was to make Bin feel guilty for forcing him to leave the dance studio, it was working. They walked slowly together, quietly, and Bin had to force himself not to hum in order to bring about some semblance of normalcy. But Minhyuk wasn't saying anything. He just looked uncomfortable, keeping a slight distance and holding on tightly to his bookbag.

“How long have you been dancing?” Bin had to break the silence.

“I told you not to ask me about it.”

“Yeah, but...” Bin huffed. “It's interesting! I honestly think it's super cool! Is it because you were afraid I'd make fun of you?”

Minhyuk grimaced and Bin realized he must have hit the mark right there. Somehow, Minhyuk was actually embarrassed of his dancing. It was such a beautiful skill, a lovely talent, that Minhyuk possessed, and he was _embarrassed_ by it.

That wouldn't do at all.

“Minhyuk, seriously – I think you're really cool for doing that.”

The shorter boy gripped his backpack tighter and stopped walking, staring up at Bin with hopeful eyes. “Do you really mean that?”

“I wouldn't say it if I didn't. That's lying, and I never lie.”

He was excluding the times he lied about his business sneaking around and discussing Minhyuk's potential serial killer career. However, he suddenly realized that now the serial killer theory was extremely flimsy. Minhyuk was dancing during the times the serial killer was active. There was no _way_ , then, that Minhyuk could be a serial killer.

Bin could have cheered right then and there. If Minhyuk was a dancer, not a serial killer, it would be so much easier to date him.

Minhyuk looked like he was smiling. It was dark and difficult to see, but Minhyuk looked like he was truly happy to know that Bin didn't find his dancing stupid at all.

Bin probably would have kissed him then. He would have leaned over and totally kissed Minhyuk's cheek, but he couldn't do so _just_ then, because his wrist was suddenly grabbed and he was jerked backwards. “Min-!” he managed to gasp out, and then he was pulled again.

He heard Minhyuk yell out his name, and he struggled to get away from whoever it was that had him. He wasn't weak, not by any means, and he was proud to note that he was actually putting up enough of a struggle that whoever had him was now holding on with two hands.

In the end, Bin supposed he had to thank Minhyuk for being a dancer. While Bin was struggling and thrashing around, Minhyuk actually took the opportunity to kick out at the person behind Bin. The person was defenseless, and the kick landed square in the face. Bin was released and he hurried forward as Minhyuk began to rifle through his backpack.

“We're supposed to run,” Bin hissed, trying to pull on his friend.

“And let him catch us?” Minhyuk scoffed and suddenly pulled a knife out from one of the backpack pockets.

Bin's first thought was _who the hell carries around a large kitchen knife like that?_

His second thought became a yell of, “ _My kitchen knife_!”

So _that's_ where it had gone. Minhyuk had it the whole time, and while Bin was thankful he _did_ have it, on account they could properly defend themselves, he still couldn't help but wonder _why_ Minhyuk had it.

The man before them looked as if he was about to run, and Bin totally would have let him get away, but Minhyuk was either extremely brave or extremely stupid. “Hey!” the kid called out, running after him. “You can't just grab onto my boyfriend like that and expect to run off!”

Bin hardly paid attention to Minhyuk slashing his knife at the man before allowing him to turn the corner. Bin was more flustered that he had just been called Minhyuk's _boyfriend_.

God, Minhyuk was so cute when he was angry and breathing harshly. Bin loved him.

“I guess we found the serial killer,” Minhyuk mumbled angrily, and he pointed at the tip of his knife. “Look, though. I managed to cut him and now we have his blood as evidence. We can take it down to the police station.”

“What a great second date!”

“Oh, shut up, Bin. I just saved your life.” Minhyuk scoffed and gestured down the alley. “Come on.”

Bin had no qualms about following along, and he felt like humming once again. “You called me your _boyfriend_ , too.”

Minhyuk blinked. Minhyuk tried to act cool. Minhyuk wasn't cool, he was just adorable, and Bin still loved him. “That...that was just to-”

“I hope we can be boyfriends forever!” Bin interrupted, and he wished he could hold Minhyuk's hand, but until Minhyuk could hand the bloody knife over to the police, he wasn't going to risk it.

“That's...I-I mean, I wasn't – do you _want_ to be boyfriends forever?”

“Yes.”

He hadn't expected their relationship to be made official under dingy, alleyway lights with Minhyuk holding a weapon after being attacked by a serial killer, but Bin had always been taught that he never could quite get what he wanted in life.

“Though, before I change my relationship status on my social media accounts-” Bin pointed at the knife Minhyuk was holding. “-why did you steal my knife?”

“Oh.” Minhyuk gave a small chuckle. “To be honest, originally I thought _you_ were the serial killer, so I wanted to make sure that you wouldn't use this to kill me. I had to keep it away from you, and so I kept it in my backpack. Good thing, too, isn't it?”

It was actually a pretty intelligent thing to do, except - “Why did you think I was a serial killer?”

“You always acted so shifty!” Minhyuk responded. “You stayed out super late and never told me where you had been. You kept bringing _up_ the serial killer, and then the police came to our house to ask you questions. It seemed like stuff only a serial killer would do.”

Bin wanted to say that it made no sense, but if he said that, then _his_ entire thought process of Minhyuk's possible serial killer life would, by default, also make no sense.

“Why _did_ the police come over, anyway?” Minhyuk asked.

Bin sighed loudly. “Because,” he mumbled, “I told all my friends you were a serial killer, so one of them called the police to make sure you hadn't killed me on our first date together.”

He never expected that he and his boyfriend would both spend their second date arguing about who was more likely to be a serial killer while walking down the street with a blood-covered knife.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _who called police tho_
> 
> i cant do action scenes, just try to ignore that scene. send me dollar bills so i can buy kitchen knives [@vonseal](http://www.vonseal.tumblr.com)


	7. the unnamed couple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don't walk down any dark alleyways without me,” he warned, and Bin nodded his head, grinning widely. “And can you put the kitchen knife back where it belongs?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well well well, this is where we've come to. idk if i've wrapped everything up but _we know who called police, most of you were right_

“Bin,” Myungjun calmly started, and Bin looked over to see the older boy staring angrily over at Minhyuk. “Can you please inform your boyfriend to pass the salt.”

“I'm using it,” Minhyuk responded, but he just held it tightly in his hand, clearly _not_ using it for anything.

Bin sighed. So far, showing Minhyuk off to the rest of his friends had been going relatively alright, but he should've known that Myungjun would attempt to start something.

“I told you not to call him a serial killer,” Bin responded, and he shrugged his shoulders. “So I think you brought this upon yourself.”

“ _He_ called me short!” Myungjun responded in frustration, and he snapped his head over to Jinwoo when he heard the other boy snort with laughter. “You're shorter than I am, Park Jinwoo, so don't you dare even make fun of me for it.”

Bin decided to ignore the fight that was inevitably about to go down. Instead, he glanced over at Dongmin and Sanha. Sanha was taking advantage of Myungjun's lack of attention to the table and kept stealing his food. Dongmin just looked amused with the entire situation.

“How are things going with you and Jinwoo?” Bin asked, and Dongmin jumped slightly, a little startled with the sudden question. “How many dates have you two been on?”

Dongmin blinked, then seemed to be counting in his head. “Four, I think.”

“The one at your place counts,” Jinwoo added, taking a quick break from arguing with Myungjun to join in on Bin's conversation.

For some reason, Jinwoo's addition made Dongmin blush, and he mumbled out a quick, “Five, then.” Jinwoo just smiled proudly.

“The only two people who didn't accuse my boyfriend of being a serial killer!” Bin exclaimed, and he laughed as he patted at Dongmin's back. “I knew the most logical guys would end up together!”

“About that-” Jinwoo cleared his throat and looked down at his meal. “Dongmin believed it.”

“Yeah, but he was _logical_ about it.”

“He called the police.”

Bin felt his eyebrows shoot up his forehead, and he turned his wide-eyed gaze over to Dongmin. Dongmin was _great_ at avoiding said wide-eyed gaze. “Wait, that – during our first date, when the police showed up? That wasn't Myungjun? That was _you_?”

“I'd rather you not say it loud enough to let the others hear,” Dongmin murmured. His face was growing increasingly red as he struggled to explain himself. “Myungjun-hyung had been texting me and he seemed worried that you weren't answering your phone. I texted you once or twice, and you really _didn't_ answer. You always answer me, so I panicked and just...called the police.” He swallowed nervously as Jinwoo smiled. “I wasn't thinking! It was really early in the morning and I was concerned that maybe Minhyuk _might_ have been a serial killer, so I called them to let them know of my concerns.”

“And you let me blame Myungjun for it?”

Jinwoo broke in to say, “Let's just keep on blaming him. Has he given us any reason _not_ to blame him for everything that goes wrong?”

Bin glanced over to see Myungjun shoving napkins into Minhyuk's cup of coffee.

“Guess not. We'll keep blaming Myungjun.”

He mentioned it to Minhyuk, too, the following morning when he had received a handful of angry-emoji-faced texts from Myungjun.

“I can totally blame him for everything.”

“Nice to see you're on board with this!” Bin responded, pouring two bowls of cereal. He passed one over to Minhyuk, who accepted it with a wide smile. “We're still going dancing tonight, right? Down through the creepy alleyway and to your odd storage building?”

“It's a storage building _turned_ dance studio,” Minhyuk corrected, sitting down cross-legged in one of the chairs. “And, yeah, sure, I can take you and show you a few dance moves.”

“A few?” Bin scoffed. “Have you _seen_ me? I'll be like a whirlwind in our personal class. I think dancing is my true calling, to be honest. I'm going to give up on my economics major and become a dancer instead.” He took a large bite of his Cheerios, then gestured with his spoon over at the television.

Minhyuk didn't understand the gesture. “Swallow first,” the younger boy reminded him, but Bin didn't listen.

With his mouth full, Bin said, “They caught the serial killer!”

Fortunately, Minhyuk had become very skilled in translating Bin's muffled, full-mouthed speech. “They caught him? Really? When was this?”

“Last night.” Bin took another bite of cereal, prompting Minhyuk to move the bowl away from him in order to hold a proper conversation. “He's some ugly dude. They'll hold the trial later, but they mentioned that a couple of unnamed citizens had fought him off and gathered his blood samples! Isn't that cool? They said that we were a _couple_!”

“Nice to see where your priorities lie, Binnie.” Minhyuk was smiling, however, obviously proud of having been displayed on the news, even if it wasn't by name. “Why didn't you wake me up to tell me?”

“Because you were drooling all over my stomach and I thought it was cute.”

He certainly didn't miss Minhyuk's blush, but he wasn't going to mention it. If he brought it up, Minhyuk would hide his face and Bin wouldn't be able to watch his boyfriend's cheeks grow steadily redder with each passing second.

“Hey, can I have my cereal back now?” was what Bin said instead of mentioning that adorable blush.

“Are you done trying to hold a conversation with me?”

“Probably, yeah. Here-” Bin made grabby-hands toward his bowl, prompting Minhyuk to roll his eyes. Still, at least he _did_ get his Cheerios back, and he took a large bite.

“Hey, Minhyuk.”

“Oh my god, you've never once chewed with your mouth closed.”

“Minhyuk, guess what?”

“ _What_ , Binnie?”

“I'm a _cereal_ killer.”

And Bin took another large bite of cereal, making certain to chomp his mouth down harshly on the food.

Minhyuk was extremely unimpressed, if his exasperated stare was anything to go by, but Bin didn't care. He still got a kiss before he left for work, anyway, soft and chaste and sweet. The tips of Minhyuk's ears were pink when he pulled away, and he cleared his throat as he straightened Bin's shirt.

“Don't walk down any dark alleyways without me,” he warned, and Bin nodded his head, grinning widely. “And can you put the kitchen knife back where it belongs?”

“It's for protection,” Bin whined.

“It might be illegal. Put it back.”

Bin hesitated, and Minhyuk crossed his arms over his chest.

“If you put it back, I'll give you another kiss.”

Bin decided that Minhyuk's kisses were protection enough.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so it ends. it's so cheesy it hurts me inside. but i wanted to add a cereal pun so there's that. if something is still missing (my mystery was all over the place omg), just let me know! otherwise, you guys know the drill: send dollar bills [@vonseal](http://www.vonseal.tumblr.com).


End file.
